Fidelity in marriage
Fidelity in Marriage and Honesty in Speech
Matthew 5:31-37
The discussion of adultery and purity naturally leads to the question of divorce. This subject is highly controversial and touches people’s deepest emotions. Perhaps the deepest hurt a heart can experience is the one experienced in an unhappy marriage. Jesus is absolutely clear that God’s design for marriage never included divorce. These two verses in 5:31-32 must be taken together with 19:3-9, where Jesus further develops this idea, when the Pharisees asked Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
In those times there where two major Rabbinical Schools in Jerusalem competing: the School of Rabbi Hillel and Rabbi Shammai. Shammai took a very conservative position against divorce, and Hillel embraced a very liberal position, interpreting Deut. 24:1 as being “any offense,” including a burnt meal, or not being as beautiful as other woman. The Pharisees (all men!) were obviously attracted to Rabbi Hillel’s position, but wanted to hear Jesus’ position. However, Jesus displayed an interest with the divine institution of marriage, rather than how and when to dissolve it: He didn’t answer their question, but through a counter-question, Jesus referred them back to the original design back in Genesis 1:24 “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” This biblical definition implies that marriage is both exclusive (“a man … his wife”) and permanent (“cleave” or “joined to his wife). Jesus commented on these two aspects: First, “So they are not longer two but one flesh;” Second, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Thus marriage, according to the One who invented this institution, is a divine institution by which God makes permanently one two people who publicly decided to leave their parents in order to form a new unit of society and then “become one flesh.”
The Pharisees countered with the question, “Why then, did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” This is similar with Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount, as He pointed that the Scribes and the Teachers of the Law laid their emphasis on the giving of the certificate of divorce, and called it a concession of Moses, but the original purpose of God: “But from the beginning it was not so.” The Pharisees took divorce and remarriage lightly, but Jesus took it very serious and, with only exception, He called all remarriage after divorce adultery.
Jesus continues to address the issue of truthfulness when He stated, “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made.’ But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all…” Some people think this prohibits them from taking oaths in a courtroom, or from taking an oath of allegiance, but they are misinterpreting Jesus. It must be observed that the Old Testament allows people to take oaths, even in God’s name (Deut. 10:20). Even in the New Testament, the Apostle Paul calls upon God to be his witness. God Himself swore not to send another flood (Gen.9:9-11), swore to send a redeemer (Lk. 1:68), and to raise His Son from the dead (Ps. 16:10, Acts 2:27-31).
All of these swearing and oaths were designed to encourage truthfulness or to bring solemnity to an announced truth, but by the time of Jesus walking this Earth the Jews have built a sophisticated legalistic system of oaths. For instance, a Rabbi declared (in Mishnah) that you are not bound if you swear by Jerusalem, only if you swear toward Jerusalem (read Matt. 23:16-22). These oaths no longer foster truthfulness, but weaken the cause of truth and promote deceit, so Jesus simply abolished all the oaths.
The real question here is truthfulness, and for the follower of Christ to say “Yes” must mean “Yes” and saying “No” must mean “No.” Christians claim to have the truth and to follow Him who is the Truth (John 14:6). In our conversations truth must be our compass. Many of us stoop to telling stories with a certain slant to make our point more emphatically or to present ourselves in a more positive light that the facts would allow.
